
Please, somebody punch this man
As if Chris Barnes hasn’t wanted to punish us enough with horrible covers of great music in the past, he’s now defiled my favorite tracks by Slayer and Metallica. Keep in mind that this is the band that created the worst covers of Purple Haze and Back in Black ever to be recorded in the history of man. But this, this is too far. This is an crime against humanity, maybe even a crime against God.
I joked about Graveyard Classics 3 for years but I never thought that it would be a reality. It looks like Chris Barnes has finally had his revenge upon America that he promised in the (terrible) Amerika the Brutal. This is truly the end of our country. Chris Barnes has done his goat scream in a Metallica song which by some crazy logical paradox will send our economy further into the shitter. Words cannot describe the horror, it’s worse then 2girls1finger.com. Anybody who wants to hear Chris Barnes take a shit all over At Dawn They Sleep and The Frayed Ends of Sanity can go to: http://www.myspace.com/sixfeetunder and experience these abominations for her/himself. Goodbye cruel world.
January 13, 2010
Posted by
dasher10 |
Jackassery by Dasher |
At Dawn They Sleep, Chris Barnes, Crimes Against Humanity, Graveyard Classics 3, metallica, Six Feet Under, slayer, The Frayed Ends of Sanity |
1 Comment

The American Carnage Tour has been postponed due to Slayer bassist/vocalist Tom Araya’s back surgery. Tour dates will be rescheduled to take place in May or later.
Well this sucked. The greatest metal tour since Ozzfest 2005 when Iron Maiden toured with The Haunted, In Flames, Mastodon, Black Dahlia Murder and Arch Enemy is now being pushed back to a point where it will conflict with Mayhem Fest (which hopefully will have Mayhem on it this year, ending two years of false advertising). At least this winter and early spring have a ton of other great tours going on…
I’d normally make several tasteless back surgery jokes, but there are definitely limits to Spinelanguage’s tastelessness. (Though if anyone other than a member of Slayer were having these issues, we’d totally be mocking him/her.)
January 11, 2010
Posted by
dasher10 |
Jackassery by Dasher |
back problems, cancelations, FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU-, megadeth, slayer, testament, Tom Araya |
1 Comment
The big four are touring. They’re playing two shows in Europe. Can’t post a link due to learning from a Megadeth Myspace bulletin. If you live in Eastern Europe, then you have an OBLIGATION to go.

December 16, 2009
Posted by
dasher10 |
Jackassery by Dasher |
anthrax, big, four, megadeth, metallica, slayer |
2 Comments
54. Slayer – Christ Illusion
This Album Will Fuck Your Corpse and Give Birth to a Necrobaby!!!!

Banned in India!
Let’s face it, the Paul Bostaph era sucked. From the uninspired Divine Intervention to the two nu metal albums that followed, something was clearly missing without Dave Lombardo. Thankfully, the real Slayer lineup is finally back together. Somehow Dave managed to take the other three guys back to where they were back in 1990 like they were just unfrozen. This isn’t the nu Slayer that only Paul Bostaph and your thirteen-year-old self thought was cool back in 2001. This is the Slayer that recorded Angel of Death, At Dawn They Sleep and Mandatory Suicide. This is the Slayer that opened for Venom in the 1980s. This is the Slayer that has a character in a fighting game named after them. Read more »
December 2, 2009
Posted by
dasher10 |
Dasher's 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade |
#54, 100, albums, best, christ, decade, Illusion, metal, of, slayer, the, thrash |
No Comments Yet

Holiday Nazi Death Camp (via Slate.com)
Before I even get to the meat (heh) of this post, what unholy fuck force of nature is sadistic enough to give Ronnie James Dio stomach cancer on the day before Thanksgiving?! Of all the different flavors of cancer, from testicular to breasticular, why let it be the one that affects an organ he needs to enjoy the same things the rest of us will today? That’s just cruel. In all seriousness, we wish Dio the speediest of recoveries and the happiest Thanksgiving he can possibly have on a hospital diet; the rest of you ought to at least be thankful that you have the opportunity to enjoy a dessert that isn’t pudding or gelatin.
Now, on to the selfish shit!
Read more »
November 26, 2009
Posted by
Chris Catharsis |
Buffoonery by Chris |
1, 100, albums, best, cancer, compilation, crabcore, crabgore, dasher, decade, devin, dio, fisher, gauntlet, ghosts, hatebreed, hawkins, injection, james, jason, management, mark, metal, metalution, of, otep, pamela, people, roasts, ronnie, shamaya, slayer, spinelanguage, stomach, the, tofucore, tomb, townsend, trepanier, unknowns, volume, walmart, war |
4 Comments

Brutal Legend (via TeamXbox.com)
Damn, I’m really scraping the bottom of the topic barrel with this one. Don’t I have anything better to review?
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August 10, 2009
Posted by
Chris Catharsis |
Reviews |
3, 360, accept, angel, anthrax, anvil, apostasy, bishop, black, blood, bodom, borgir, boy, brocas, brutal, budgie, candlemass, carcass, children, christ, church, cloven, coroner, cradle, crimson, crue, d, dark, death, deathstars, def, dethklok, diamond, dimmu, dokken, dragonforce, earth, emperor, enslaved, feg, filth, firehouse, flames, ford, fortress, girlschool, glam, glory, group, head, helm, hexen, hoof, iced, in, inches, industrial, judas, kabbage, killenstein, king, kiss, kmfdm, legend, leppard, lita, manowar, manson, marilyn, mastodon, megadeth, melodic, metal, michael, ministry, mirrorthrone, motley, motorhead, nitro, of, omen, osbourne, ostrogoth, overkill, ozzy, playstation, power, priest, progressive, prong, ps3, quiet, racer, ratt, riot, rob, rock, rotting, row, running, sabbath, sanctuary, savatage, saxon, schenker, scorpions, skeletonwitch, skid, slayer, slough, soundtrack, static-x, symphonic, tenacious, testament, thrash, tranquility, tvangeste, ufo, whitesnake, wild, witch, wrath, x, xbox, zombie |
8 Comments

Fake "World Painted Blood" Album Cover (via CastleGeekSkull.BlogSpot.com)
When I heard “Psycopathy Red” for the first time last year, I thought Slayer was finally back on the right track. It was all aggression, all speed, no nu metal experimentation, but sadly, they didn’t get rid of Tom Araya’s 7-year-old-girl-who-just-scraped-her-knee banshee wailing. Not perfect, but acceptable. Now, almost a year later, we finally get another song from the worst titled Slayer album ever (there’s nothing gramatically or colloquially correct about World Painted Blood, it sounds like the name of a middle school Slayer tribute band at the talent show; fucking terrible). So, what do I have to say about “Hate Worldwide”?
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August 3, 2009
Posted by
Chris Catharsis |
Reviews |
blood, hate, painted, review, slayer, song, thrash, world, worldwide |
22 Comments

God Hates Us All (via StarStore.com)
NOTE: The title of this post comes from Sing365.com’s interpretation of Rage Against the Machine’s “Freedom“. It gave me a hearty chuckle.
You may be wondering – why am I doing a post about a horrible album like God Hates Us All? Well, because it doesn’t really have to do with Slayer; it’s all about the Westboro Baptist Church.
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July 23, 2009
Posted by
Chris Catharsis |
Buffoonery by Chris |
all, baptist, church, fred, god, hates, metal, phelps, slayer, the, us, westboro, world |
2 Comments

YouTube (via Rhizohm.net)
- These are pretty self-explanatory, but hilarious nonetheless.
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July 20, 2009
Posted by
Chris Catharsis |
Buffoonery by Chris |
5, adams, bryan, cannibal, child, corpse, destiny's, dragonforce, eve, god, hilarity, iron, jazz, jon, kreator, lamb, lil, maiden, mash-up, metal, metallica, monkees, of, slayer, the, volume, youtube |
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